Tag Archives: One Word

3-D Wedding


My brother is getting married.

My opinion is irrelevant. He is going to do it.

I am choosing to be Switzerland. I am neutral (mostly).

My job is 3-D management:

  1. Date – I need one.
  2. Dress – I need one.
  3. Drinks – I need more than one.

So, my goal for the next few months is to find a dress that I look not terrible in (nobody is supposed to care what I look like anyway, I just can’t look too terrible for the two pictures I need to be in).

I also need a date to this thing. Someone who is fun and distracting. Someone who will keep my cup full and not judge me on any of my behavior that day (so they will need to know me well enough to know how cool I am regardless of how not cool I behave that day).

I will need drinks. Swiss people drink, right? Chocolate won’t cover it.

The wedding is March 23rd so I have some time to work all of this out.

Yes, I joined a dating site.
No, I had no patience for it.
Yes, I have met a couple of interesting people… only one of which I consider an actual viable option.

Naturally, I can accept that whomever I ask to be my date to this wedding could turn in to something more, but that is not the original goal. It would be a happy side effect.

Because I have all these verify specific goals, I think my word for the year is going to be “Intentional”. That is the only way I can see this working.

I’ve been BRAVE, and it was amazing.

Now that I’m BRAVE, I need to be Intentional.

So, let the dating begin!

Enter Stranger


Halloween night 2010 was Kaima’s going away party.
To say I was a hot mess would not begin to cover how I was feeling.

I remember plenty from that night, including meeting a rather good-looking individual and being struck dumb by the way he said my name. “Kiki. Wow. That’s an interesting name. It’s nice to meet you, Kiki.” Beyond that, I remember him spending the rest of the evening talking to a brunette. Not that it mattered much, Kaima was leaving and my heart was broken.

As I struggled with the pain of losing him and moving on with my life (Enter A Certain Stubborn Bear), I forgot that moment when a stranger said my name.

Exit A Certain Stubborn Bear.

Enter fresh loss. And pain. Enter being BRAVE. Enter being alone. Enter YOLO.

And one day, while serving at church, Enter Stranger.

He said my name again. We might have talked for all of 5 minutes max, but I was again struck.
This time I went hunting for the Stranger on Facebook. To no avail. He was hidden from me and, apparently, lost forever.

Off and on I would remember to look for him at church, but that was more off than on and he again faded into a dim memory.

And then I decided to be Intentional this year.
And I decided to start dating.
And Facebook decided to send me an email, “Do you know these people?”

And there he was: The Stranger.

I thought about it, and finally decided to send him a message. I asked if he wanted to be friends. I mean, who WOULDN’T want to be friends with ME? However, he had never found me on Facebook and, let’s face it, I’m pretty easy to find so I had to check first.

Of course he wanted to be friends (he’s not an idiot).




You. Only. Live. Once.

It’s a mantra for those of us being BRAVE this year. (And by “us” of course I mean “me”)

I went out for Dim Sum with some people from work, “Kikita, would you like to try chicken feet?”

Bring it.


I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to ride on the back of a motorcycle.
I made it happen.
It was terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

I’ve wanted to have braids in my hair forever. Not corn rows, just braids. I thought I could rock it, but was worried because some white people look REALLY STUPID with them.

There was only one way to find out…

I bought the hair.

I made the appointment.

I sat.

And sat.

And sat.

And then I was done.

I have braids now.


My family HATES them. My mother was very diplomatic. She said she loves the braids, she just doesn’t love them on me. My sister, however, said they look horrible on me and she hates the color and I look bad and she proceeded to stomp around.

Most of my man friends love them. A couple asked that I not call them until I take the braids out and go back to being myself.

One idiot went so far as to say, “Why don’t you leave braids to black girls?”

I love them. I love the color of brown. I love how the blue pops and the purple blends. I love how I can tie them in a knot.

I was not ready for how much attention they would bring. It has taken some getting used to. Everywhere I go, eyes are on me. That alone would make me think twice about getting them again. The other reason was just sitting for 8 hours was brutal.

Yes, I can wash them. That was an adventure in itself. I’ve learned that I have quite the sensitive scalp. The moment the water hit the exposed places on my scalp, I got chills. They didn’t stop. It was wild. And DRYING my hair… It’s been two days and my hair is STILL wet. ūüėČ ¬†(Ok, that’s not true, but I swear it took a long time)

If I HAD looked like an idiot (which I don’t think I do), hey, it’s just hair…


Kikita on New Year’s Resolutions




What was so bad about last year that needs resolving? (Don’t answer that.)

In my opinion, here are the problems with New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Looking back… You base your resolutions on things you don’t like about the year before. Admirable, but how is focusing on the negatives from the year before going to help you be positive in the new year?
2. It’s a set up! You give yourself such high things to aspire to and will only hate yourself more when you can’t acheive them.
3. Who can remember that much? Let’s say you keep your list short and only make 3-5 resolutions. Life happens, will you remember all of those things in 6 months?

Who wants this kind of pressure? Not Kikita,  I can tell you that much.

“But, Kikita! don’t you have goals? Or some way to differentiate between one year and the next? How can you not make resolutions?!?”

Yes, I do.

It’s called “One Little Word.

I learned it from Ali Edwards*.

“And what do you do with this one little word? You live with it. You invite it into you life. You let it speak to you. You might even follow where it leads. There are so many possibilities.” ~ Ali Edwards

You pick a word and it becomes a sort of mantra. It is your answer to everything. A sort of mantra. It can be something you want to be more of, something you want to be less of, something you used to be and want to get back to.

Last year my word was AMAZING, but I told everyone else my word was YES. (I was feel rather saucy the day someone asked.)

So really, I had two words…. *shrug*
It’s a Gemini thing.

How can you fail yourself with just a word?
You can’t.
So you’re already setting yourself up for success.

Besides, if you say something enough to yourself, eventually you’ll believe it.
This may be hard to fathom, but there was a time when I did not find myself amazing. O_O
Now? Just about everyone I know finds me amazing. (Some more than others.)
In fact, it is almost annoying how amazed some people are by me.
And I am amazing because I chose to be. Not because I was trying to resolve something from the year before.

And one (or, as in my case, two) word is a whole lot easier to remember than a list of things like “Go to the gym more.”

So maybe I need to pick two words again for this year… and you know what’s great? You can keep your words from last year if you’d like.
I KNOW I will have amazing moments this year.

The words I’ve chosen for 2012 are…

BRAVE: Bold, Intrepid, Daring, Dauntless, Heroic. BRAVE, courageous, valiant, fearless, gallant  refer to confident bearing in the face of difficulties or dangers. BRAVE is the most comprehensive: it is especially used of that confident fortitude or daring that actively faces and endures anything threatening.

SHINE: Glow, Glisten, Glimmer, Sparkle, Shimmer

I’m sure some people might think that I already am these things, but I want to really focus on them this year.
I want to have adventures.
And I believe that every day life can be an adventure if you let it.


*Ok, Mami learned it from Ali Edwards and shared the idea. I read up on it, tried it last year, and loved it.