Abuela Duty


Last Saturday…
Him: I had a dream about you last night. You were very flexible… So, what are you doing tonight? Want to go to Pedrito’s Posada with me?
Me: I’m on abuela duty.
Me (to myself): And I’m not that flexible.


On Monday…
Him: What are you doing for New Years?
Me: I think I’m going to Palm Springs.
Him: Who is he?
Me: There is no “he.” Debbie invited me.
Him: How am I supposed to get my New Year’s kiss if you’re in Palm Springs?
Me: You wouldn’t get one. I don’t kiss at midnight.
Him: I’m heartbroken now. It was the perfect excuse to kiss you… What are you doing tonight?
Me (to myself): Staying away from you, it would seem.
Me: I’m on abuela duty.


: I miss you too much already*…. Can I just propose and get it over with? This way you can be around more…
Me: Stop it. Wait… I forgot that it’s Friday**. Yes, go ahead.
Him: I got some chickens, a cow couple of goats and some pigs. I think that should be a good thing to present…. Besides I have been saving myself for marriage and you would be my first. Estoy señorito.
Me: I don’t believe you… about the chickens.
Him: I think your grandma would appreciate that kind of live stock that I am presenting to get you. A few people are coming over for dinner tomorrow, you should stop by. You could even stay the night if you like.
Me: Thanks, but I have family stuff and will be on abuela duty.
Him: You’re always on abuela duty.
Me (to myself): She is the best excuse I have when “I just don’t want to” won’t work.
Me: Yeap.


*Already? I can’t even remember the last time I’d seen him. And this was the first ever that I was hearing about him missing me. Granted, he invites me over all the time, but I rarely go.

**There were three Fridays in September where various individuals asked me to marry them for various reasons. I had shared the stories with this friend of mine, he found it hilarious and tried proposing the following Sunday. I explained I only accept proposals on Fridays so he waited for the next Friday. Today’s story marks the third time he has jokingly proposed. I am starting to worry.

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